61,000 Donkeys

posted by Jonny:) @ 9:35 PM 0 comments

COOKING WITH Jonny I:

Stuff you need:

2 turkey burgers

some cheese (preferably cheddar)

mayo

Ham slices (3 is good)

Chunky crusty bread (or toast)

What to do:

Grill the turkey burgers as per instructions, when just about ready add on the cheddar cheese and melt it on.

Butter one slice of bread and add lots of mayo to the other. Add your ham (bacon works just as well) to the mayo side.

Insert the two burgers ontop of the butterd bread, combine the two slices to form a sandwich.

You now have the best EVER sandwich

Variations also inculde: letticue and tomatoes, tomatoe ketchup instead of mayo (is okay but mayo rocks), and pickle.;

posted by Jonny:) @ 5:27 PM 2 comments

posted by Jonny:) @ 9:28 AM 4 comments

posted by Jonny:) @ 10:23 PM 0 comments

posted by Jonny:) @ 10:53 AM 0 comments

RELAY: What was that all about????

AGGGGHHHHH !!! Job-hunting sucks. It’s really boring and frustrating. What I find the most frustrating is the whole competency and skills section of application forms.

It just seems RELAY becomes another set of skills I’ve learnt. On my year of relay I have learnt and acquired: inter-personal skills, mentoring training, experience of oral presentations and public speaking, the ability to give and lead interactive seminars, experience with motivating people and dealing with people who have issues with the organisations I work for or personal issues they need help with.

YET true as all this is and as much as it keeps going onto Forms I want to scream at the computer screen that REALY was all about Me. Relay was God working in my life changing me maturing me and making me love him more!

Skills are good, God is better !!!

posted by Jonny:) @ 4:43 PM 1 comments

posted by Jonny:) @ 1:03 PM 0 comments

KLINGON PROVERBS:

When threatened, fight.

If you are sad, act!

Hit them hard and hit them fast.

Klingons do not procrastinate.

If it's in your way, knock it down.

Klingons are a proud race, and we intend to go on being proud.

Great deeds, great songs.

Choose to fight, not negotiate.

If you must negotiate, watch your enemy's eyes.

Brute strength is not the most important asset in a fight.

There is nothing shameful in falling before a superior enemy.

When in doubt, surprise them.

There are no old warriors.

Blood and water don't mix.

Drinking fake ale is better then drinking water.

A warrior does not let a friend face danger alone.

When a warrior goes to a battle, he does not abandon his friends.

Klingons do not faint.

Klingons do not get sick.

Klingons do not lie in bed.

To understand life, endure pain.

Pleasure is nonessential.

A warrior does not complain about physical discomfort.

Klingons never bluff.

Capture all opportunities.

When you insult a Klingon's honor, prepare for trouble.

If you cannot fail, you cannot succeed.

If you cannot be shamed, you cannot be honored.

The Klingon who kills without showing his face has no honor.

Only an enemy without honor refuses to show himself in battle.

May your enemies run with fear.

For one mission, there is one leader.

A Klingon does not postpone a matter of honor.

It is a good day to die.

If you are afraid to die, you have already died.

Death is an experience best shared.

To die defending his ship is the hope of every Klingon.

To die in the line of duty is the hope of every Klingon.

To die while serving the Empire is the hope of every Klingon.

Never leave without your bat'leth.

No Klingon ever breaks his word.

A beard is a symbol of courage.

Stop talking! Drink!

Klingons do not surrender.

A Klingon does not run away from his battles.

Better to die on our feet than live on our knees.

Cowards take hostages. Klingons do not.

Even the best blade will rust and grow dull unless it is cared for.

The used kut'luch is always shiny.

Shooting space garbage is no test of a warriors mettle.

Only fools have no fear.

Only a fool fights in a burning house.

Only fools don't attack.

A fool's only achievement is death.

Mercy or power.

Revenge is the best revenge.

Four thousand throats may be cut in one night by a running man.

An honorable death requires no vengeance.

Tickle us, do we not laugh? Prick us , do we not bleed? Wrong us, shall we not seek revenge?

Revenge is a dish which is best served cold.

If winning is not important, then why keep score.

Gagh is always best served when live.

Admire the person with dirt under his fingernails.

Motives are insignificant.

When a warrior dies, his spirit escapes.

If the warrior's spirit has not escaped, the battle is still going on.

Curse well!

Conquer what you desire.

You have choosen your weapon, so fight!

Love is always smelled.

Klingons kill for their own purposes.

Don't trust those who frequently smile.

A sharp knife is nothing without a sharp eye.

If you sleep with targs, you'll wake up with glob flies.

No pain, no gain.

The son of a Klingon is a man the day he can first hold a blade.

The victor is always right.

In war, there is nothing more honorable than victory.

History is written by the victors.

To find ale, go into a bar.

A ship cloaks in order to attack.

Everyone encounters tribbles occasionally.

If you want to eat pipius claw, you'll have to break a few pipiuses.

Trust, but locate the doors.

Don't trust Yridians who bring gifts.

Don't trust Ferengi who give back money.

Don't just aim; hit the target!

If a warrior does not fight, he does not breathe.

You pay attention to your Fek'lhr and I will pay attention to mine.

No enemy is boring.

If you don't use the painstik, the child will never celebrate his Age of Ascension.

Have the courage to admit your mistakes.

Buy or die.

A girl chases a boy until she catches him, with luck he is not maimed for life

posted by Jonny:) @ 11:38 AM 0 comments

FOUR WEDDINGS AND A

What follows are some selected highpoints from the four weddings of this summer:

Best reception location: JULIE Held at the high rocks hotel, just round the corner from home as we both live in the same town. Wonderful sunny day in a country inn in the garden of England (Kent)

Best looking bride: RYOKO: Seriously amazing gown with veil and gloves. There are correct terms to describe it all in colour and size and shape but her dress was spectacular.

Best reception entertainment: DAVE&JEN: Barn dance, sooo much fun, they showed you the steps and everyone can join in its all swapping partners and dancing. Very social.

Best food: ALEX&RYOKO: Homemade food from their local church. HOWEVER their local church is full of internationals that live in reading. We had Cypriot, polish, Russian and of course Japanese traditional food. Homemade sushi tops evrytime

Most Hats in the Church: HAYLEY. Not a requirement but one of the families had all the female relatives all turn out in hats.

Most compliments on how good I looked in a suit: HAYLEY: again many many people seem surprised when I dress up and there were many compliments on my sharp dressing

Most random/original idea for the reception: JULIE: They hired the local steam train to take them to the reception, and we all got a ride.

Funniest best man speech: ALEX&RYOKO: very good included getting Alex to tap dance for everyone. However when they had the childhood stories about Alex getting into trouble…. Well it seems I was involved as well so double embarrassment.

Best Church Music: DAVE&JEN: Chichester has some great music talent in the church, and the creams that were all my friends were taken to make the band. Also the Grooms father sang a solo of ‘blessed be your name’ to the acompiant of Irish drum and whistle.

Best Sermon: DAVE&JEN: One of the church leaders from Chi did this, very personal, funny, Godly and relevant to today. Admittedly one of his illustrations was stretching it but was really good to hear Ian speak on marriage, communication and Love is nailing the others faults to the cross.

Most touching moment: HAYLEY: Running late into the chapel to see her waiting to go in having a brief moment of anxiety as she always does.

Felt the most Old: JULIE, my word she is a year younger than me she hadn’t graduated yet!

Best Stag Do: well there was only one, Alex’s involving paintball, bbq, world cup, throwing Alex into the Thames and jumping in for a swim as well.

Just like to wish all four couples God’s blessings on their marriages.

posted by Jonny:) @ 12:24 PM 0 comments